August 2016 – Dumpster Jedi

OBVIOUSLY MANY SPOILERS EXIST.

I’m a Trekkie. I bear that with no shame (at least nowadays; there were definitely moments in my adolescence of pretending to know nothing about Star Trek, lest I be considered a “nerd.”) But that label carries a burden in the associated issue of having disliked Star Trek (2009) and downright loathing most of Into Darkness because, as so many other fans will say — they’re not really Star Trek movies. So I skipped seeing Beyond on opening day. (Going back as far as the 1980s, this is the first time I have not seen one on its first day. I even saw some as midnight movies.) But now that I’ve watched it, I’ll note that this is the first one in the Abramsverse I would have enjoyed seeing immediately. How ironic.

Are You Saying This Movie Is The Bestsest Star Trek Film Ever Made?

No, this movie is not amazing or even the best Star Trek film (that is NOT Wrath of Khan; it is Undiscovered Country) but it is absolutely the most Star Trek of the Abramsverse.

Certainly this is not the best representation of ST out there, even insofar as the films go, but it’s fun and focuses on a lot of the actual duties of Starfleet officers. The idea that Uhura (who still feels a little miscast at times) would cleverly sacrifice herself to Kirk is infinitely more ST than the absurd attempts at showing sacrifice in Into Darkness. (Important especially since Spock’s sacrifice in Wrath of Khan was truly meaningful and Kirk’s bungled one in Darkness was a lousy attempt to reel people into familiarity, apparently hoping to trick them into thinking it was something good.) Having “Montgomery Scotty” spend most of his time doing engineering tasks keeps his character truer. Seeing the crew at their jobs, in their actual working element was a nice change from the “action, action, action Apple Store!” vantage of both of the first two films.

McCoy?!

With this film we actually get the Kirk-Spock-McCoy trio back to form. Karl Urban has been horribly underused and he finally gets to really be McCoy here. The bantering with Spock was glorious and a fantastic callback to TOS and the films.

“Logic? My God, the man’s talking about logic; we’re talking about universal Armageddon! You green-blooded, inhuman…” (McCoy in WOK) “Green-blooded ingrate” (McCoy in Beyond) And even their begrudging friendship starts to show here with Spock calling McCoy by his almost never-referenced real first name.

Yes, McCoy was always my favorite. But just as in the new X-Men Trilogy, McCoys fail to get enough screen time in the first two films.

Alright, So Edison Krall Captain Bad Man Kinda Sucks, Right?

Yes. I fully admit it. He’s not a compelling villain and Idris Elba has been so many better things (including Chief Bogo of Zootopia, Charles Miner from The Office, and his character from The Wire) but he’s definitely not the first in a tradition of Federation leaders to lose faith and leave Starfleet. Consider Admiral Cartwright and Lieutenant Valeris who conspired with the Romulan Ambassador to bring down the Khitomer peace talks as film examples of a failure of Federation leadership. Not entirely the same but they were still responsible for murderous acts against Starfleet. Krall/Edison’s motivations are unfortunately not clear. For some reason, he’s mad at Starfleet (just like every first year cadet at the Academy, I imagine) for his long-term isolation and psychosis. Unlike other captains (who just ignore orders and do whatever they want anyway– all 5 of them did exactly that in the main series) he apparently turns into a more violent and insane Cal Hudson. So while he kind of sucks, at least he doesn’t try to turn on an existing villain and ruin a number of things, like the unfortunate Benedict Cumberbatch Khan did. (Especially since Khan Noonien Singh existed in the 1990s; he should still have had a backstory of prominence as a superhero genetically engineered being, but instead was a virtually unknown entity to all of the Abramsverse crew.) (PPS: Benedict Cumberbatch, I don’t blame you. You did the best you could with what you got.) He is also not as lousy or unformed a villain as Nero, who really just seemed like an angry 15 year old who got the keys to daddy’s car and decided to seek revenge by throwing flaming poop bags on his English teacher’s yard because the lunch lady served him food he didn’t like.

Really, Krall gets about a C- on the villain scale, but that doesn’t ruin the movie for me.

For what it’s worth, my absolute favorite villain in the entirety of the Star Trek universe is Gul Dukat. Trekspertise has some good reasons why:

Q, Khan, Intendant Kira, The Dominion, The Xindi and General Chang all get mentions as well. That’s my kind of Star Trek villain. Soren (from Generations) almost made this list, but he kinda sucks at the end, too.

“I Like The Beats And The Shouting!”

Yeah, so Jaylah, the new friendly alien character of this film was pretty entertaining. I have no qualms with her, as she feels a lot like a TNG era episode character, someone who was marooned and left to fend for herself, but who then ends up coming to and joining the Federation. Her enjoyment of Public Enemy is a bit confusing, though. She ultimately didn’t do a lot except save the heroes in some key moments, but that’s the usual function of such a character in Star Trek.

I’ve Heard Of Transwarp Beaming But Trans-Motorcycle?

Yes, so I can’t actually defend this nonsense. Not because it’s impossible to beam up things in action (we see plenty of that in both the movies and the TV series) but because there was no way that Jaylah’s body was in a position to be registered with the beacon before being beamed up. This was not a wide beam scan. It is Fast and Furious style nonsense and frankly, this and the motorcycle craziness were among the worst moments in the whole film.

But at least it let me think “This isn’t as bad as the Argo.”

Probably Picard’s least badass moment while trying to be badass. How sad.

Look, It’s Not Superman; It’s A Flying Saucer

I also cannot give you a justifiable explanation on the science of the Enterprise having a saucer separation sequence and how it would stay in space with the nacelles down and having lost warp power, etc. I’m not even going to try.

What’s The Most Star Trek Like Scene?

Incidentally, the opening one is very Star Trek. It’s a diplomatic mission, with Kirk trying his best to fill that role with charm and dialogue, and only having to fight his way out when forced to do so by the people he was seeking to talk to. It also reminded me of a Galaxy Quest scene, which was, ironically enough, intended to be a parody of Star Trek TOS back in 1999. (And Kirk comes back noting “I ripped my shirt again,” something that made it into the Galaxy Quest movie in the form of Jason Nesmith’s ripped shirt.

Yep, cute little guys.

And That Sulu’s Husband Scene?

For all the talk ahead of time about this scene (and it being an alleged tribute to George Takei) it really didn’t impact the movie much. Yes, I think it’s silly to try to shoehorn same-sex marriage into Star Trek by assuming a character played by an actor who is gay must also be gay. But I was expecting this to be a much longer, much bigger moment in the film. (I’m in agreement that a new character in a same-sex marriage would have been a better path to take.) But I’ll wait for the huge controversies over this one, sigh, and move on.

Sabotage?

Something about wooden shoes, I think?

I didn’t think the idea to remove the Voyager-esque swarm from the ship with music was a bad idea but I must ask why “Sabotage” has been such a strange thematic element throughout the Abramsverse. I’m sad that Adam Yauch “MCA” is dead, too, but a different song, hell, even a different Beastie Boys song would be appreciated.

Meanwhile, due to my undying love for Futurama, this will always be MY Beastie Boys tribute.

Besides, Futurama had two different references to “classical music” before Star Trek got there.

Bob Barker’s head: Next up in what is generously called the “Talent Competition”, performing a traditional gangsta rap”

Let Me Complain Briefly About How Yorktown Schematics Look A Lot Like Death Star Plans

Because once again, it looks like a big globe with a beam eye and a series of tunnels/weak spots. Ugh. We’ve already seen this three times in Star Wars; why must I see it in Star Trek too? Okay, I got that out of my system.

What About The Constant Side-Wiping Shots?

Yes, they’re annoyingly overused.

Enterprise NCC-1701-A -Alternate

I really didn’t need that entry in Memory Alpha. Actually, I haven’t even found it yet but destroying the ship is a callback to The Search for Spock and Generations. It recalls more of Generations because of the saucer section separation. (Which you can totally read about in the Technical Manual) However, I can’t let the Star Trek III reference go by because it was in the wake of Spock’s “death” that the NCC-1701 (retrofitted) was destroyed. (Of course, that at least got us some whales and a Klingon Bird-Of-Prey)

And Then There Were The Amazing References & Easter Eggs:

Yorktown was supposed to be the name of the Enterprise in Gene Roddenberry’s original plans. The space station itself, however, looks like it belongs to an entirely different sci-fi series.
“Giant green hand” – a theory of what happened to the USS Franklin is also the plot point to Who Mourns for Adonais?
Danny Pudi was one of Krall’s lackeys. #sixseasonsandastartrekmovie
The USS Franklin has the same ship design as Enterprise NX-01
Edison/Krall was a soldier around the same time that the Federation was fighting the Xindi War, leading to the further point that Starfleet was still using ground troops, but also that the events of Enterprise predate the timeline split of the Abramsverse, so as long as you believe it wasn’t just William Riker in the Holodeck and was, in fact, canon, Captain Archer and the gang can be historical figures in this series. I’ve also always wanted to see more story about MACO; maybe somebody could do this now?
“Skip to the End” is a fantastic reference to Spaced
Commodore Paris. Is she a relation?
Spock looking at Ambassador Spock’s belongings sees the Star Trek V cast photo. At least something good (besides “Row Row Your Boat” and “What does God need with a starship?” came out of that movie.)
Saurian Brandy is a long-standing joke (PS: Chekhov explaining that something was “Russian” is a common theme on TOS so his last little scene telling a woman about the brandy was completely canon too)
Trying to decide if Scotty’s mention of “fear of splicing you two” was a reference to Tuvix (and I don’t care what Janeway defenders say, she totally murdered that dude)
The framing of the birthday scene at the beginning and the “to absent friends” scene at the end are reminiscent of Wrath of Khan. That movie has McCoy and Kirk discussing Kirk’s birthday at the beginning and Kirk toasting “To Absent Friends” at the end.
For Anton =( Herein we hope that your katra is preserved.